Before you swim, you've gotta be okay to sink.

I feel like things are falling apart. I feel like I used to have a strong hold on things, but now it's as if some time apart would be a good thing. Maybe you need that once in a while, so you can realize what you have and learn how to appreciate it again. I think somehow we forget, or maybe we get so tired that we can't find enough strength to keep fighting the same battles over and over again. What I don't understand is how I let myself become someone that is so easy to walk away from. I thought it was different this time, I mean honestly, this time it's the REAL thing, and yet I feel as if it wouldn't matter if tomorrow I was gone. What do you do in this situation? Of course I don't want the space or the break or the silence- but what do you do when you feel like a broken record- you keep repeating yourself in hopes that this time he'll get it. He says he gets it. I don't get it.

I just want him to understand me; where I'm coming from. Maybe I don't always have the best approach, but the problem always remains the same, whether I face it with patience, or like most times, with disappointment.

It's storming right now. I love when it storms. I love when I feel like this and the weather agrees with me. I guess I'm going to hang out with my girls after work for a while. I think it's needed.

And deserved? Well, I don't know about that.