Clarity in chaos.

As I sit here, thoughts racing, contemplating the past few weeks/months of our life as a Krause family, I am overcome with emotion. It's been quite a ride and I've learned more than I thought I could in such a short amount of time. As with anything good, there is bad- with the joy, I still feel pain, with the rejoicing, there is still sorrow. I'm sad and I'm hurt by things said and perceptions misconstrued. I have come to accept the things that will not change, and I have come to terms with the things that I need to change within myself. I have sought out forgiveness and shown an abundance of grace. I have stopped myself in my tracks, patience worn thin, to remind myself of a million things: how quickly my kids will grow, how short our time here on Earth really is, how to not have expectations- not just because people will disappoint (and they will), but because I have not yet met or exceeded the expectations I have for myself. I've been reminded how faithful God is and how much he loves me, even in my ugliest moments when I'm so completely unlovable. I've seen how much my marriage has grown once I gave it sufficient water, sunlight and enough room to thrive. I've stopped placing the blame on everyone else and have really looked into myself- into my soul and at the things that I need to change. (It takes change to see change.) I know now that others' opinions are just that, and at the end of the day, I am choosing to do what is right and I am proud of that. This is hard, but God is faithful. I am not perfect, but his power is made perfect in each and every one of my weaknesses. I am so completely content in the direction I'm heading. I can't wait to see what God has in store next for our family!